I’m in love with a married man. Silence. There. I admitted it to my husband. There was no denying it. He had to know. For our 20 years together, he deserved to know.
It all started when I saw how similar this mystery man was to my husband. And yet even more strikingly, how different he was altogether.
I met my husband one precious day. It was comfortably warm with a burst of sunshine. The funny thing is, little did I know then that an awesome blessing was rushing my way. I wasn’t ready for the sunshine that was going to explode and overtake me. Oh my heart. Oh my head.
I was conducting a corporate team building workshop and ….. yup, just like that famous scene in a romance film, time stood still when I saw him flash his most infectious, heart-melting smile. The one that made the sun shy away. And his eyes, they beamed along, as they looked my way. Woot woot! Sparks were all over the place! Could you tell that by then I was already gravitating towards him? I found him so handsome, so cute, so endearing, so irresistible.
As we went through the workshop, in his charming quiet confidence, he shared some rich insights. He wasn’t soft-spoken, but he didn’t sound his views blaringly either. He was just so cool. He was just so natural. There was an effortless manner about him. That’s it! That was the clincher. I was drawn to his intelligence and his humility at the same time. As he was feeling his way through the workshop, I sensed that he wasn’t even aware of how amazed I was with his sharp wit and humor.
As love stories would have it, he was likewise magnetized to me and my sunny, effervescent personality. Or is that my biased version of the story? Haha!
So what’s all the fuss about the sun? Well, we loved the warmth and friendly conversations we carried. It’s as if we knew each other forever. Ease. Lots of happy ease. Free from trying to be people we weren’t. There was simply a natural flow in our dynamic and yet, it was charged with exciting electricity. Engaging energy. It felt like a majestic interplay of yin and yang.
These joyous, vibrant, and down-to-earth colors resonate so deeply with my soul to this very day. And that’s the similar road that led me to this mystery man. He makes me feel so happy, so comfortable, so special, so at home. He reminds me so much of the love who stole my heart decades ago.
And yet, as I spend more time with him, he also opens my eyes to a totally new amazing world. He shows me various facets of life that I’ve never ever seen in my earlier years of marriage. He’s just so different from the man that I married. And that’s what makes him so attractive too.
This mystery man has the boldness of a lion. Nothing fazes him. He reminds me that there is always a solution to every problem. He has the vision of an eagle. He is so situationally aware. He knows what’s happening in the world…. even more impressively, in my world. He keeps himself well-informed so that he can make sound judgments. He is passionate about the future. He has the wisdom of an owl. He is quite insightful and abundant with ideas. He challenges my mind. He sees what systems or processes can be improved and is never shy to air his suggestions. He has the tenderness of a puppy. When he is with me, and we are in our own world, he embraces me and snuggles up to me. And that, I love with much fervor. He has the speed of a cheetah. There’s never a dull moment with him. He maps out our adventures and is an architect at compartmentalizing his time. I’m blown away with his many achievements and accomplishments. He works hard. He plays hard. He lives life. He loves life. He has the commanding presence of a tiger. He loves me fiercely and intensely. He circles me and readily defends me at the onslaught of any attack. He always protects me with all his might.
Ahhh! The more I think about his qualities, the more I fall deeply, madly, indescribably in love with this mystery man.
It’s been so overwhelming lately, though. My thoughts. My feelings. My sanity. My core. Until guilt totally consumed me one night. I had to finally confess my budding romance with this mystery man. I had to finally break the silence …. and the noise within me. I had to finally tell my husband.
So what’s the point of it all? There is, in fact, a powerful point. For this may speak volumes to some people out there who may feel “trapped” in their marriages.
You see, I am no longer the same woman that my husband married years back. And neither is he the same man with whom I exchanged marriage vows. We both have changed. Vastly. We both have evolved. Vastly.
And so, that fateful night, I finally introduced my husband to this mystery man.
At the dinner table, as we were about to have our cheese platter, I started fidgeting. Awkwardness filled the room. I was waiting for him to ask me about the “important announcement” that I had been dying to make. But he simply sat there. Silent.
It wasn’t going well. To think that it had panned out earlier in my mind. So, I finally mustered the courage to speak. I dove into his eyes and tried to make a meaningful connection. Then slowly, I reached out for his hand and gave him a mirror. With a quizzical look, he asked if it was all a joke. I was uncharacteristically expressionless. Then, after a few seconds, I cajoled him into looking at the mirror.
A smile peeked from his face. And a smile peeked from mine. I raised my glass to him and finally blurted out my “confession”.
“Yes, I’m in love with a married man …….. And that married man ……. is YOU ……. CHEERS HONEY!!! I love you always and forever!”
Wow the sweetest, most delicious relief filled the air. Our wine glasses clinked playfully and we both burst into happy laughter. Oh, and we had the grandest night of all! ❤️